Unlike good old Kim Frank from Echt,my time didn't come in 2010 and it doesn't look like it's going to now.
It hasn't all been bad.I had an absolutely wonderful trip to Germany at Easter,saw my musical hero a few weeks previous and enjoyed the best Eurovision since 2003.And I graduated of course.
But since I've been back here everything's all kind of gone pear-shaped.I spent 4 very long months of being unemployed before getting a job I hate (though by Christ am I grateful for the money...),I've been told I've got hypertension and am waiting for my blood tests and the likes so I can find out why,and I've just spent Christmas in bed with a weird cold virus thing I caught from somebody at work.On top of this,my lovely mental demons have come back meaning that I seem to have become even more bitter and twisted than usual,get practically no enjoyment out of anything anymore and resent many people for many things.An ex-friend of mine who left this shitheap called Medway to do something with his life said to me once that life is what you make of it.Maybe but I believe you do need a certain amount of luck to make it anything worthwhile at all.And some people I know really do seem to have it in spades.So it's been a pretty "dark" last few months I suppose you could say.The last time I felt anything at all like this was 7 years ago during sixth form,which is definitely a time I'd like to forget.
Other people I know rely on clichés that seem to be quoted from self-help books that they plaster all over Facebook when they're a bit sad,others are (inexplicably to me) only properly happy when they're in a relationship.But I'm doing things like I did in 2005.I'm going to stay in this shit job tidying up after chavs until I have enough money to bugger off for a while.Last time it was Oslo- this time I need somewhere a bit more unique.I'm planning a trip for July to go to the Faroes,then on to Iceland and then down to Paris.Only for a few weeks but I'm hoping I'll feel the effects for a few months at least.
Other than that,we've put our house up for sale and will hopefully be moving somewhere a lot better than this sometime soon.And I'm going to Wales to see James again in a few weeks.I can't believe it's been 6 months since we last saw eachother.Then of course in May,my second biggest ambition will be achieved when I go to Düsseldorf with Keira to watch the Jury Final.Which means that next year automatically becomes at least 56 times better than this one,doesn't it?
This is the best song I've heard all year.Like Adel Tawil,Xavier Naidoo has one of those voices that makes everything he sings sound like a lullaby- even if this one is an occasionally sweary lullaby.I still don't understand the inclusion of a couple of lines of English in it,but they summarise the song perfectly if you don't speak German.
Happy New Year.